Getting lost in Prague — an easy Traveller’s Guide in three steps | Step IIa

Written by a co-traveller, January 06

Intro | Step I | Step IIa | Step IIb | Step III

Step IIa: Getting drunk and piss off
As the botel’s bar closes at 24:00 the group devides. One part is fatigued and wents to bed. The other group decides to try again Prague’s nightlife and is extremely lucky this time: a nice bar with a basement vault reminding to the MB in Leipzig, just smaller. Beeing ahead of the others by approx. 5 bottles of beer you’ve drunk during train travel and already having combined these bottles with Becherovka, you happily introduce an international selection of interesting, funny and extremely nice people to your group:

• a zchech lawyer and sophister who calls himself honest when asked if he is a nice guy to his friend (first league volleyball player).

His shy friend has very extraordinary facial features and is interested in vain in one of the girls. The lawyer volunteers eagerly in asking her to have a drink with his friend, because he always likes playing jokes on him. You proudly narrate your losing-passport-story but our zchech friends are not very impressed. They are telling you that every time they visit Germany with some of their friends one of them forgets his passport and they always love kidding this unhappy fellow seriously. Total profit of this acquaintance: approx. 8 additional Becherovka for the whole group, sponsored be Peter the volleyballer and about 1 hour good talk about various european topics such as the film Goodbye Lenin and how »it does’nt matter if spanish, zchech, french or german: all europeans are the same shit«

• 4 funny and collegial english friends from the north of london.

Three of them looking like brothers handling the family’s butcher’s shop — one of them has german ancestors and talks few words german to us. The fourth, Jit — looking like a cool gangster rapper –, again is interested in our blonde collegue and manages to get farther than Peter but that’s only as far as the bar. With these funny british man we speak about our beloved municipial Berlin: building sites and »the little lamp man of the old East German crossing signal«.

• 2 tzech lesbians.

One of them called Dagmar, who invites the whole group to join her in their pussy club, again with special interest for our poor blonde friend — no comment.

The bar comes to closing time at about 4:30 o’clock and you and your group, further diminished by 3 people, leave. The remaining glorious 7 decide to wait for the breakfast at 7 o’clock and pass the time in downtown prague — there still must be many exciting things to discover. You and your namefellow are the most drunk of all the drunk as you drank very mixed: beer and becherovka and cuba libre as the others, but also whiskey and wodka. So strolling through the pretty crowded city (astonishing many people are awake at this time in prague — some for sight seeing) it is no wonder that you two can’t hold on to the others and get lost or rather »piss off«.

Searching for a toilet
Coming back to the central market place of Prague the remaining 5 recognize that you two got lost. A small palaver is held and the group’s opinion is, that you are drunk enough, so we don’t have to worry about your well-being. With two more hour’s time to kill we need a new task to revive our spirits in this %&$”§-christmessly cold night. So we start searching for a place, bar or something like that, where we could go to and go on toilet, too.

We are heading to the McDonalds at Wenzelsplatz, but are open for other options. On the way we recognize a diskothek which is situated in the backyard and a tabledance bar. First choice is the discothek, in the backyard, downstairs. The disco is closed but open and we are allowed to use the toilet, but shrink back by the sight of the afloated floor. We manage to climb up the stairs of the table dance bar, but our courage ends when seeing a woman in turquoise underwear through the window of the entrance door. So we again start for McDonalds. From the other end of the street two tottering drunks are approaching us leaning on each other: it’s you, the two lost ones — as any other city, Prague is small.

Next station is a take-away-pizza: asked, if the girl could go to toilet, the vender says no, he has no toilet. Unbelieving faces: »Äh, but what do you do?« Arriving at Wenzelsplatz we discover that McDonalds will be closed for another hour. A discothek with huge panorama windows and huge door stuarts to be seen in the entrance room behind the panorama window just closes. You, our hero in getting lost, are taking one last chance. Heading in, to the 5 huge, black clothed body builders, in order to ask if the girls may use the toilets. The group is speechless while seeing you disappear between those gorillas and bids you silently farewal. After one minute you appear again, reaching the door savely.

Zchech Coffee
We decide to move slowly back to the botel in order to wait there for the last 30 minutes to breakfast. On the way we see a small taco-take-away, toilets inclusive. After heavenly hot and delicious coffees for us and a small nap for our two namefellows who ordered coffee for everyone but could not stay awake in order to drink it, we are ready for the last station of this night and probably for the whole day: the eagerly longed for

botel’s breakfast!

We are by far the first guests: nearly too tired to butter the bread and dicovering with disgust that zchech coffee gets grey if you put milk in it and tastes just like that.

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